Boy Meets Girl: Pizza, witches and lessons learned

Oct 3 2008 Playing the dating game with Ed Saunt and Vicki Eltis

Having asked you the reader for advice on their dating dilemmas, Vicki and Ed returned to the hunt reinvigorated.

Ed writes: I learnt three things this week. The first thing I learnt was never to start a pun merry-go-round.

The advice I received read more like a Pizza Express menu than anything else but I was grateful for the tips on how to get a ‘slice of the action’ with pizza girl and was more than ready to ‘put my dough where my mouth is.’

However, after two wasting £15 on two Neopolitans without even a sighting, I decided to ask after her, only to be told she had headed back to university a day earlier.

So I guess the second thing I learnt this week is to act on my instincts – don’t bother waiting for quirky pizza-based pick-up lines.

The final thing I learnt this week is not to mess with witches. "What do witches have to do with pizza girl?" I hear you ask.

Nothing at all except they’re the latest people to join Cheryl Cole and The Queen on the list of people I will never, ever get with.

Yes, following my unfortunate experience with witch Julia two weeks ago, I have been condemned by the Pagan community as ‘a moron,’ ‘a dork’ and ‘a prat’ in a well-written - if slightly crazy – blog

The author even invited the poor readers to ‘imagine the horror of actually bedding this soulless wonder.’

By rejecting Julia I have apparently upset the Pagans by being narrow-minded and failing to appreciate the wonderful ways of Wiccan loving.

Now I don’t like upsetting people so I now make an impassioned plea to any witch with a GSOH and well-oiled broomstick to come forward to give me a second chance.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I’ll end up marrying one. However, I think there’s about as much chance of that happening as there is of me and Vicki sailing off into the sunset together, as one mischievous reader suggested.

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Vicki writes: I feel rejuvenated. For too long now I’ve been thinking too much about Mr Special B, worrying about the what if’s and just generally day-dreaming.

So I decided, with your help, to come down to earth with a bump!

Mr Special B and I have been texting again, he’s back from his holidays but let’s face it if he really wants to see me, I and everyone, who is happy to listen to me drone on about him, knows he would have got in his car and driven the one hour trip to see me by now.

A one hour's journey is no excuse.

So with my new confidence and urge from readers suggesting life is too short and to carry on with the great activity of dating I went out on Saturday night with a new outlook.

I wasn’t going to go out and sob into my wine glass any more I was going to go out and have fun.

I went to the Hand and Spear in Weybridge for a college reunion. It was great to see everyone again after eight years.

Then a couple of mates and I planned to go to Abaya - ever the place to go if you want to meet a man.

However, while in the pub I bumped into a guy I used to work with when I was 16.

And yes, I did once have a crush on him! I probably day-dreamed about him too.

So I was pretty chuffed when he wanted to join me at the club.

Mr Special B was just a figment of my imagination as 'N' and I had a very fun night dancing and drinking the night away. God, I was acting like I was 16 all over again!

But what the hell you can’t blame a girl for having some fun (the word rebound comes to mind).

Carmella, thanks for your comments - I have to keep my options open, you're right, otherwise I could end up a spinster.

And what about Mr Average? Well we are still in contact but think that has fizzled out - for the best.